07/17/2012

He called me on the weekends. We talked for quite a long time. He said that maybe we should start dating and get to know each other from fresh. So I agreed to go on a lunch date with him on Sunday.

After that my mind raced. My peace is threatened to be shattered. Why? Because he doesn't show any serious commitment to me.

He just wants to hang out together on the weekend, while still living apart. This is exactly the weekend marriage arrangement that we had before and this is not what I wanted.

So I told him last night that this is not going to work for me. I want a husband from him, not a boyfriend. He needs to show 200% commitment to me before I can consider going back. Because we had a heartbreak history with him. It is risky for me to go back, so I need some insurance.

If I want to hang out with a guy just for fun, I can simply find a man that I have no history with. That is safer for me emotionally.

I have worked so hard to get to my state today. I have not cried, or thought about him every single minute of my life. I feel much freer. For me to give that up and go back, he has to offer way more than this weekend companion arrangement.

I hope that I am doing the right thing.