I feel irrelevant. I feel left out. He now has a bond with this new human being. And I am not part of this experience.
What do I want? What is my role? Who am I?
I feel that I have no choice. If I stay with him, then I have to accept and love this being. But he is not my baby.
So who I am?
I have lost the sense of myself. I feel that I am in the passenger seat and being driven left and then right.
People keep telling me to stay. Who am I to stay?
What do I want? Do I still love my husband? I cannot feel my love to him at this moment. Is it because I am afraid and lost?
Be the selfless person and love his child. Am I able to do so?
I am the one-man out. Before this, we are both just married with no children. But now, we are married and he has a child. I still do not have children. So now I am all alone in this category of child-less. I feel irrelevant. Before this, we are married with common goals. Now, we are married but his goal is to raise this child, and be a father.
That was not my goal. So now what is my goal? I have no choice but to change my goal, to support this child. But he is not my child. Who am I?
What is my goal? Why am I here? What is my purpose?
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