Wednesday, January 23, 2013

01/23/2013

He said that he will not go back with me to see my dad next time. My terminally ill dad.

I don't think he cares for anyone but himself.

I feel very lonely in this marriage. I married a person with no heart, a person who doesn't value family.

I imagine myself living in a nice small house, near my work, having a dog as companion. I imagine myself not needing to think about all these mess. I will prepare dinner for myself, walk my dog, read my books, not needing to deal with this anymore. I imagine myself freed from this person. He is cold and heartless. Even if my dad is dying, I cannot count on him to go with me to see my dad. How sad is that, what a sad marriage this is. I have given my love to him for 10+ years, how blind I was.

A dog will have more passion and loyalty than him.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

01/22/2013

He lied to me that he has to work yesterday even though that was MLK holiday. I am disappointed at him lying to me again. That feeling is back.... I want to die....and get away from all such mess.