08/07/2012

My dad is always very strong, steady, healthy and ever present.

I don't remember seeing him cry. I have never sensed his fear, until now.

I can't imagine what he is going through now. Imagine if you have this disease growing inside of you, that you can't stop, that is going to expand and spread inside of you, that you will have less than a year to live, that you are only 65 years old, that you have young grandchildren, that you have a wife, that you have 3 children, that you still have yet to enjoy life.

How does one cope with this? How do you even start? Where do you start? Do you blame God first? Maybe you will ask why me?

My dad doesn't smoke. He works hard. He is a good person. So why him? Why take away his life so early, so prematurely, so painfully, so suddenly? Why does God want to take him away from us?

What does one need in order to cope? Courage? Strength? Love? Hope? Faith?

I love my dad, and it pains me to watch him going through this. It pains me.

He is our rock.

08/03/2012

Lung cancer, this is how my father is going to go.

I have lost a husband, now my father too.

Why does God want to take my father so early, in such a painful way?

He has been a good father in his unique way. I am not sure how my brother is taking it. At least I am able to cry since I am on my own.

Life is not fair.

My father will not be able to see how much his grandchildren will accomplish. He will not be able to listen to the music they play, will not be able to see the art they make.

Life is not fair.